


break me down/build me up (to what you want me to be)

by Demi_Fae



Series: Whumptober 2020 [11]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Torture, Psychological Torture, Winter Soldier AU, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:33:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26946007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demi_Fae/pseuds/Demi_Fae
Summary: Figures walk behind the bars of Anakin’s cell, his cage. That’s what it is- a space designed to keep him in and show him off, break him until he’s little more than a feral pet in captivity. They want his mind torn in half and his body in pain, willing to do whatever they want in order to have a few more seconds of peace.It’s too bad that they won’t get what they want.-Day 11:Defiance|Struggling|Crying
Series: Whumptober 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930612
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	break me down/build me up (to what you want me to be)

Figures walk behind the bars of Anakin’s cell, his cage. That’s what it is- a space designed to keep him in and show him off, break him until he’s little more than a feral pet in captivity. They want his mind torn in half and his body in pain, willing to do whatever they want in order to have a few more seconds of peace. 

It’s too bad that they won’t get what they want. 

Anakin bares his teeth as shadows walk beyond him at regular times. Tours or guards, most likely, mostly a mix of the two. His lips curl at being treated like a sideshow attraction, at the tittering giggles and deep laughs of those who come to visit him. 

Anakin will not give up and he will not give in. He knows that sooner or later, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka and his men will find him. They’ll track down where he is and rescue him, and Anakin’s rescue count will be even with Obi-Wan’s once more. They’ll laugh over drinks about the time he was captured and couldn’t save himself, and they'll be deployed on their next mission together. 

He snarled as one brave figure reached through the bars to poke at him. Teeth snapped just inches from where the finger once was and a startled gasp went through the crowd before him. 

With a single word an electric shock strong enough to send Anakin to his knees if he wasn’t already there coursed through his body. Every cell in his body lit on fire as the shock didn’t let up but he refused to give them the satisfaction of hearing him scream. Anakin grit his teeth and didn’t let any sound escape his mouth even as his body writhed on the ground. 

When it finally stopped, Anakin took a few moments to breathe deeply and let his head stop swimming. Then he sat himself back up and resolved himself to hold on, until someone came to free him.

* * *

_ He’s shaking, _ Anakin realizes some time later. There’s no one here but he’s still curled into a ball and trembling, expecting the sting of a whip or the shock of electricity. He’s shaking and he can’t stop himself, no matter how much he wants to. 

Every step outside his cell has him flinching and he wishes he was still as strong as he was weeks ago. When the pain was newer and surprised him, when it didn't feel familiar and ache bone- deep. He didn’t want to feel afraid and yet he was. 

He still fought when they came into his cell to strap him down and force him under their thumb. And though Anakin was hurt and scared and so close to giving up, giving in, crying and accepting his fate, he refused to do that yet. He fought with every last drop of defiance he had in him, struggling against the bonds they forced him into. 

Anakin pulled away from every strap they tried to put him into until he was too weak to do so. They bound his arms and legs, his torso and head, knees, elbows- it seemed every bit of him was strapped down. 

Then they tried to erase his thoughts. They weren’t succesful, would never be if Anakin had anything to say about it, and yet they still tried. They tried and they tried to wipe his head clean until it nearly was, Anakin’s brain fogged over but his memories held in an iron grip that they would never break. 

They always left him there, shaking and shivering on the ground, not giving in or giving up but so so close, counting his most precious memories and wondering if they would protect him at all.

* * *

Anakin remembers when he had hope. Hope that someone would rescue him from this dingy place he hasn’t left in weeks, months, years- hope that they could save him from the monsters that don’t care about him at all. The ones that starve and beat him for doing something wrong, for doing something right, for doing nothing at all, for doing anything- 

He remembers when he thought that two figures would burst through the bars of his cage (his home) and cut them like they were butter, to take him back-

Back where? 

...It wasn’t important. 

What was he thinking about? Escaping? 

No. Why would he leave? He wanted to- He’d tried to before, but-

He shook again at the thought of the punishment that had followed. They were bad, they always were, but this had him screaming for mercy for hours that no one would give. His voice had given out long after his body had and long before  _ they _ were finished with him. He still couldn’t speak though that was weeks ago- for fear that if  _ they _ found that he could still speak they’d decide he hadn’t been silent long enough and do the same again. 

He muffled his whimpers into his only hand, biting into the flesh to taste his own salty blood. The pain grounded him to his body, curled as small as he could in the corner and as far out of sight as was possible. 

As he closed his eyes, trying desperately to hold onto the last thing he remembered- his name- a voice whispering  _ “They can call you whatever they’d like Ani, but always remember you are Aͧ̃̂͏͓͔͙̺̹͍n̬̿̎̃͊ͪ͞a̰̞̯ͅk̟͓̼̖̖̺ͭ̔̋͐i̶̞̯̭̲̦̝̱̅n͕̫͛́ͅ ̵͙̙̗͎̮͖̊̿ͧS̘̲͓̆̑͒ͦͤ̇̇k̙̘y͔͚̭͙w̶ͯͬ̓ͪ͂ͤͣa͈͕̤̺̪̱̳̔͠l͙̠̤͕͈͇̰ͯ̕k̴̲̉͗ͥ̈́̅̅̇eͩ͛̇͐͋̓͏͔r͓̫͖̭̝̬̄̊ͪ͑͝ and nothing anyone will ever do can take that from you.”- _ was that his name? Ani? It seemed right but it didn’t fit- tears slipped down his cheeks. 

It grew and it grew, the tightness in his chest and the water in his eyes and the shadows in his cell. He gripped at his hair and clawed at his eyes. What was his name what was his name whatwas his name hisname whatname whatwashisnamehisnamehisname- 

Monsters whispered in his ears to give in and give up and his body screamed for peace. He didn’t know what he would do for one moment of silence, just the smallest second of peace- 

He remembered when he had hope.

* * *

He opens his eyes. 

“Target?”

“Obi-Wan Kenobi.” 

“...Confirmed.”

**Author's Note:**

> This one was fun to write :)
> 
> You can yell at me on tumblr at [rynae-reblogs](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rynae-reblogs)


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